I feel slightly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of rain here! It has only just stopped after days and days… It seems that Vancouver has double the amount of rain of London, so maybe I should not be surprised. So – does that make you Vancouver people more emotional, with all that water around? Or do you leave all the crying to the rain, and smile, rays of sun in your heart, and smiles on your faces, off you go to party?
I haven’t quite found out yet, as I’ve only just arrived.
I’ve felt drawn to visiting Vancouver for a long time.
What’s so special about touch then?
Well, say you go for a Swedish massage. There is lots of touching, right on the skin, and pressing deep into your muscles, painful at times, pleasurable at others, but do you feel really ‘touched’?
We say ‘I’m touched’ when something goes deeper, touches our heart. That does not necessarily have to do with physical touch, rather, we hear something, words, a sound, or see something that evokes a memory, or empathy, or joy. Something in us sounds in the same frequency of the thing outside, and we have only just become aware, are maybe taken by surprise.
A look can touch us, even make us swoon….
Here is a secret: We all so LONG to be touched.
Depression is the absence of connection to the outer world – nothing affects us any more. Everything has become indifferent, and our being, far inside us, is small and sits like in a cage.
Yet, we are all defended as well – words may be hurtful, so we close up, and don’t let everything get to us in the first place.
So what about being touched physically?
We really are energy. We can feel someone looking at us, without seeing. The close proximity of another person affects us, even without touch. We can FEEL their energy. A good example is body warmth. Imagine you’ve just come out of the gym. Your body is radiating, with warmth and energy, and the bubble of energy will be much bigger than after sitting at your desk for hours and hours.
Or think of yourself, in love. Aren’t we radiating out so much more energy?
Now in your mind imagine touching the hand of your beloved for the first time. Why is that likely to feel different from shaking just anybody’s hand?
It’s the emotional charge. If we are in love with someone, they are likely to have struck many chords in us already. The absolute exquisite delight is to find a human specimen, which embodies all the loveable qualities we crave for, and physically ravishing each other.
Her is another secret: On some level, we can fall a little bit in love with almost anybody. Because we ALL have human experiences, human hearts, and are affected by the world in similar ways. Everybody is loveable. Even just a little bit. We just need to look for it! What in this person strikes a chord in me? Where are we similar, or delightfully different? And then, suddenly, we radiate lovers’ energy out into the world. And we can touch each other like the most precious gem, or like the cutest little baby animal, so fragile, so tiny, so sweet, so very innocent.
It doesn’t take long to get to that stage. My approach is a little different to the study where you ask each other 36 questions (to fall in love with each other), and also different to the approach of pick-up artists. Another delightful example of a masterful seducer who calls him self a ‘lover of women’ is this fascinating book, ‘The Alabaster Girl’ by Zan Perrion.
I’m not saying that you should move in with and marry the first person you come across. It’s rather about looking for similarities than for differences. Suddenly, the individual boundaries blur. We stop taking ourselves so very seriously. We stop seeing ourselves as distinctly separate from everybody else.
‘All you need is Love’, after all…