I’ve just reviewed the book Decoding Your Kink, by Galen Fous.
As a Somatic Sexologist and Certified Sexological Bodyworker, I feel this is an excellent and much needed book by an expert on fetish sexuality, experienced psychotherapist and academic researcher.
This book is ‘written with blood’ as it is based on the author’s own personal journey, and painful, profound and joyful experiences on the way, and resulting in expert knowledge, and a fascinating perspective.
He meets us in a spirit of empathy, fully aware that stepping out there, and showing who we are sexually and what we desire, is anything but easy. It takes great courage to show ourselves vulnerable by daring to take a close look at our erotic persona, which may not appear politically correct, and may clash with our own and society’s perceptions of ethics and morality.
His statement “in the realm of sexuality, I consider it sacred to engage and encourage my desires and those of my partner fully, free of shame, fear or judgment by others. It is the grandest celebration of our souls to express our sexuality honestly and passionately” is core to his work.
He points out that our sexual preferences are deeply rooted in structures that reach far beyond our own personal day-to-day life. Galen Fous coins the new term ‘Personal Erotic Myth’, different from Jack Morin’s ‘Core Erotic Theme’.
Galen says that ‘many people have a personal innate erotic story or more accurately, a symbolic sexual myth that drives them to orgasm or other deep erotic states. These myths are filled with common archetypal personas and counterparts (Dom/sub, Mommy/little boy, Teacher/student, etc), explicit dialogue, body language, setting, attire and more.’
Galen encourages us to bravely explore our shadow side in loving relationships, rather than earmarking it as pathological and stemming from childhood trauma. His spirit of curiosity and acceptance is a refreshing voice in the current climate, and links conscious kink and sex positivity with latest academic research in psychology and sexology. A must-read for sexologists, therapists, and anybody dealing with fetish sexuality personally or professionally!