What actually IS an orgasm?

Quite frequently, I get female clients who are not sure if they do have genital orgasms, or not. What I usually ask is if they have a feeling of sudden release when stimulating themselves genitally. However shallow, the sudden release is a sign that an orgasm is happening, and then we can work on making it more. 

Non-genital orgasms show a sustained release at the peak of pleasure, often accompanied by rhythmic muscle contractions elsewhere in the body, like in the abdomen. These can go on for quite a while, unlike genital orgasms. There will be little or no genital stimulation, and genital arousal can be somewhat involved, or not. The same areas in the brain are affected, genital, or not. Let’s talk about Barbara Carrellas, and her famous energy orgasms. Barbara Carrellas is an American sex educator, and actually had a brain scan done while experiencing energy orgasms. The researcher found that the same brain areas light up as in genital orgasms. 

Energygasm – a whole body orgasm without genital involvement

For Energygasms, you use deep breathing, undulation of the pelvis and spine, and abdominal and upper body self touch. A great position for this is lying on your back, with your knees up, to support movement in your pelvis and spine with your feet. You can experiment with on and off body touch (hovering about an inch or two over the body). Off-body touch can be more intense than actual on-body touch. I have personally experienced energy orgasms as a receiver, and facilitated them for others many times.

Heartgasms – the Orgasm of Love 

For a heartgasm, you would need a mental image that opens your heart. It’s an orgasm of intense love which can be felt physically. You can visualise your children or grandchildren, your guru, a religious figure, your Beloved, or a beloved pet. Have a specific image in your mind. Then, breathe into your heart area/the middle of your chest. If there are no medical counter indications, breathe in and out through your mouth, faster than usual, and allow for an undulation in the spine. It feels as if you breathe your love directly into your heart, and make the feeling immense! Allow yourself to sigh, or make sounds. This can lead to spontaneous laughter.

Chocolategasms/Tastebudgasms – the Foodie Orgasm!

Don’t try a chocolategasm if you don’t even like chocolate – the trigger must be a food that you find really delicious and exquisite, in small amounts, whatever it is. For foodgasms, parts of the mouth are involved, such as the lips and the tongue, but also the teeth, the gums, and the palate. My suggestion would be to activate the mouth before you introduce the food. Take it slowly, caress your lips with the food, and then let your tongue reach out to it, still outside the mouth, before you are a tiny bit in, and move it around in your mouth, noticing both the sensations, and the taste. 

Even more Orgasms! 

All three of the non-genital orgasms above can put us in a brainwave state very different from our usual beta brainwave, awake and focused, state, are slightly trance inducing, and very relaxing and refreshing. 

There are of course more non-genital orgasms, other than the ones described above! 

Have you had experiences with non-genital Orgasms? 

If so, I would like to hear from you! No worries, your info is confidential, and I will ask your permission before sharing anything publicly. You can write to me, also if you have questions.

Just to recap, there is of course nothing wrong with having genital orgasms! 

What I’m teaching as a somatic sex educator is to overcome the split between ‘now I’m sexual, and now I’m not’, and instead, to fall in love with your life, orgasmically. Every moment can be cherished, and experienced in an orgasmic way. 

Orgasms as a Way of Life

Imagine it like this: Say, you had very bad news, and then it turns out that a mistake has been made, and everything is much better than it appeared. This same kind of orgasmic relief and joy and laughter can be experienced all the time, just for being alive. Sometimes, people find this at the end of their lives, in very old age, or on their death bed. But why not start earlier, when we still have so much energy, and can spread our joy to others around us? 

This will affect and enrich your genital orgasms, too, and make them much better and stronger. Enjoy!