Do you use Sex toys with your partner? 

Sex toys are fun! Sometimes however, bringing them into the bedroom for the first time can be a bit tricky, for three reasons: you don’t know how to pick the right sex toy for you both, you are unsure about how to use it, or your partner is not inclined to change your bedroom routine or feels criticised. 

How to pick the right Sex Toy for you and your Partner? 

There are two scenarios here, you may want to introduce a sex toy that you have been using for solo sex previously, most likely a vibrator if you are a woman/vulva owner. The majority of women can’t climax in penetration without additional clitoral stimulation, so adding a vibrator to your lovemaking may really make sense. To use the vibrator during penetration, make sure it’s not too big, because it might get in the way, depending on your position. Either you or your partner can hold the vibrator. Bullet vibrators are small and versatile, and also inexpensive and most likely won’t feel threatening for your male partner. Alternatively, opt for a vibrator that is a bit bigger, for the longer handle. If you don’t own a vibrator already, you may also consider a large powerful plug-in or battery wand. While these are probably not very well suited for intercourse, they are great and very versatile sex toys for all genders, to use on your and your partner’s entire body. Expect giggles, because the big ones are really powerful! Make your lovemaking sessions longer and better by using them before (or instead of!) penetration.

These Sex Toys are a no-no, particularly when with a Male Partner

You may be proud of your sex toy collection, particularly when some items are on the pricey side. Your partner may however be squeamish about using toys that you’ve used with other partners previously, even if thoroughly cleaned. Take your partner’s feelings into consideration – we can’t help what we feel icky about. Also, I would suggest to steer clear of any dildo that looks like a massive penis. It may give your male partner the impression that their own member is not good/big enough for you. There are double ended insertibles that don’t look like penises, for vaginal and anal partner penetration, to consider instead. You may get away with a curved g-spot vibrator, however – instruct your partner how to use it, to turn you on. 

How to introduce Anal Toys into the bedroom?

Smaller is better when first introducing anal toys with your partner. These can range from butt plugs you can use on yourself, anal beads, or actual strap-ons for anal penetration. Always probe with your finger first, use thick lube, and take it super slowly. 

How to Talk to your Partner about Sex Toys? 

Even if you don’t live near a sex shop, you can always browse online. I’m a client of Lovehoney (they also paid me to write this), and I like them because you can pretty much find everything! Wait for a good moment when you are both relaxed and happy, and then tell your partner what you have seen online, and how you imagine using it with them. Have fun!

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