'Nobody cares about Women's Pleasure'

Women's pleasure and sexuality

This is a quote by the famous actress Emma Thompson, in a recent Glamour mag interview. With ‘Good luck to you, Leo Grande’ she has courageously and authentically starred in a seminal film, which is fun and entertaining at the same time. Humour and comedy style is probably needed to touch on so many tricky topics, like sexuality and ageing, sex work, (specifically male sex workers), ageing women and sex, body image, and female sexuality in general. Emma Thompson, who plays 55-year-old Nancy in the film, says in the interview that female pleasure has just not been researched enough, because nobody seems interested. This is so true!

Science is not interested in Women’s Pleasure

The anatomical equivalent of the G-spot was discovered – wait for it – in 2012. Another phenomenon of women’s sexuality, female ejaculation, is still a mystery, but mainstream medicine mostly insists it’s pee, and tends to treat ejaculating women for incontinence, should they seek advice. Women take courage, and venture out by themselves, to make sense of it all. It’s beautiful to see Nancy’s journey towards pleasure, patiently supported by the young male sex worker (played by Daryl McCormack) she hired in the film. 

Going for pleasure – maybe for the first time ever! 

Some scenes in the film reminded me of my own interactions with Somatic Sex Coaching clients, of all genders, and it’s definitely a big part of my job to create an atmosphere where they can feel safe, relax, and open up about intimate topics. 

Returning to sex after a long abstinence is actually a frequent theme I hear from women clients. 

They want to gain confidence, and for the first time enquire about a different and more fulfilling way to have sex. They want to experience what they read about in the media, and what sensations they themselves can have. 

Of course, this sometimes amounts to an imperative: I should feel sexual. I should love my body. I should self pleasure. 

I often remind them of the divide between ‘now I’m sexual, and now I’m not’. In fact, we have our wonderful bodies and all its nerve endings available 24/7, and can delve into sensations any time, without even touching, just using our attention, and breath. 

However, sometimes, we just know. There is something we are not living, an experience that we just need to have in this life. Even if it goes against all our social conditioning. 

This is when people take action, and this is beautifully shown in the film. 

I haven’t felt this alive for ages, says Nancy in the film. 

Aliveness comes along when we finally dare to step into all of what we are, because the energy to suppress it is suddenly released, and available for living. 

Don’t miss. 

Here is the trailer.