and Course Testimonials
Discover What Clients Say
HERE ARE JUST SOME OF THE SEX COACHING AND EVENT TESTIMONIALS FROM COACHING CLIENTS AND COURSE PARTICIPANTS THAT I'VE RECEIVED OVER THE YEARS.
Sex Coaching for Couples
Sex Coaching for Women
I think that issues around touch and consent can bring up difficult feelings around intimacy, including trauma, for many people. In your parties, we are encouraged to take care of ourselves, tune into our own needs and go at our own pace. There is support available for anyone who becomes distressed, which helps to build trust in the safe space.
We married 3 years into the relationship. I thought this would make us more solid and help us to work things out but it just seemed to push us apart and the sex and intimacy seemed to grow more and more infrequent.
By the time we met Stella we had not been sexually intimate for over a year and I felt quite hopeless about this.
Stella was so attuned, holding, skilled and sensitive to our needs. She creates a very safe space. She talked with us all the way through. Rob felt anxious before he arrived but Stella’s calm present energy and non judgemental approach drew him out of himself and into connection with me. She regularly made sure that we felt heard and attuned to by checking in with us.
She is a great active listener, not only hears words but the tone and expression behind the words and checks in with you. She has a gentle curiosity which really helped Rob to open up about his sexual fears and hang ups. She helped Rob to see that he had a harsh inner critic and that he could talk more kindly to himself. She guided Rob from fear to love and guided me and Rob to reconnect physically, spiritually and emotionally in a way that we hadn’t for a long time.
She did this with a great deal of care about our comfortability and how we felt and how she was with us, what our hard and soft boundaries were (I was happy to go to bra and knickers) Rob wanted to be clothed. What our intentions were- I wanted to feel like a rose and a goddess and to be touched sensually and erotically. Rob wanted to connect to his body and to connect to me.
She lead a body meditation to connect with our pelvis’s with breath and a grounding balloon, and we rubbed our hands together and gave our bodies (individually ) ravishing touch and love. With each exercise we were asked what we felt and were supported to open, talk and ground ourselves.
Then Stella went through the wheel of consent. We realised that we had been stuck in a position of me giving cuddles to Rob whereas I was longing to be taken and ravished by him.
He had a big amount of shadow worries about being a perpetrator and rapist if he took on being a “taker” and ravishing me. He also did not feel confident about taking in a way that I would like but she reassured him by saying he could tell me what he was about to do which meant I could always say “no”. And she reminded us that we could always check in with each other.
Stella did a brilliant job of facilitation by getting us to hear each other and repeating back what we heard. So I really was able to take on board that Rob did long for me and wanted to touch me and this made me feel important to him. Rob really heard how big his erotic touch was for me and that made him feel in balance and equal with me. He felt needed and wanted. These were revelations to both of us.
Then we went into a divine and beautiful bedroom with low relaxing music. Again Stella asked us where we wanted her to be and we guided her.
She then guided Rob how to use proximity and distance and slow and fast movements to strip me off my clothes in front of a mirror. It was delicious, erotic and divine and Rob felt confident and empowered.
She then guided us to the bed where she asked him to roll me over a few times and stroke me and asked me to give feedback on what I wanted. Rob remembered other times that he felt confident to be empowered with me and I remembered something that had happened that had Shut me down a year ago.
Rob touched me warmly powerfully and sensually and I felt loved and ravished and he felt good about this.
She offered other textures to play with and he used a feather duster which was sensually out of this world for me and for him it was playful, creative and fun.
Then she guided us to have tea at the Charlotte Hotel where we lounged, played and enjoyed our sparkling connection for a few hours.
We now feel more connected, Rob feels more compassionate to himself and I feel a genuine level of hope that we can create this in our lives in a gentle way. I feel patient and loving and I can see how I can be more present and Rob seems way more steady, balanced and calm.
I can see how getting resourced by the lovely Stella was crucial to helping us back on the road of love. Thank you dear Stella we really appreciate you and will be recommending you to many couples.”
Sam and her partner Rob
I made an appointment to see Stella for help with delayed ejaculation, which had been a difficult issue for me throughout my adult life. It was something that was very frustrating for me and for my partners and can be a very difficult thing to deal with and explain. Although very nervous about taking this step I knew that I owed it to myself to at least try to see if there was anything I could do to improve things and, with hindsight, it has proved to be absolutely the right step. Stella was understanding, patient and completely non-judgmental. Despite my nerves I quickly found that I was able to talk to her about the problems I was experiencing and began to feel comfortable doing so. Stella listened patiently and over a series of sessions that involved talking, bodywork and homework I experienced a transformation in my understanding of the issues I had been experiencing. The impact on my sexual wellbeing has been enormous and I am so grateful to Stella for her help. I would not hesitate to recommend her to anyone experiencing sexual problems: life is too short to suffer in silence and my only regret is that I did not have the benefit of Stella’s help years ago.‘’
Charlie (quoted with consent)
Dear Stella I have been doing some improvements which make me feel very proud of myself. I have flirted with women, specially there was this case in which I was at a club, and this lady was flirting and dancing with everyone, being a bit of a tease and funny. Most men were like falling for her, please dance with me and bla bla bla, but I saw what she was doing, and decided to play with her, being a tease as well. It worked wonderfully, because it reminded me of the eroticism we discussed, that which says that sometimes proximity and possibility are more powerful than actual happening. It was a fun night thanks to her energy, which I found fantastic.
Also, I feel my sexual energy, and I channel it into more vital energy and strength to do more things, and to be more present. This has helped me to reduce the sexual neediness I used to have with a lot of women. People talk with me a lot, and see me more attractive. Finally, I have taken women out of the massive pedestal I used to have them. I used to lust for every woman, hoping she would look at me. Now, I accept that not everyone is going to be attracted by me, and I concentrate on radiating my energy and focusing on whoever responds without having to change who I am.
I feel very grateful of having taken your tips and lessons to heart, and I am also very grateful of having known you and having spent our sessions together.
Male client, June 2019
I had for many years wrestled with feelings of guilt and shame surrounding masturbation and sex. Thankfully last year I plucked up the courage to see Stella. I found her open and calm approach allowed me to open up and talk frankly about long standing sexual issues. Being able to be completely uninhibited in front of someone supportive has been amazingly positive and allowed me to get away from negative feelings surrounding sexuality and body image. I have since come back to Stella to further explore my sexuality. Once again she has been very nurturing and is really helping me through hands on coaching with managing my arousal and trying new ways of experiencing pleasure. I am feeling a new found confidence which effects all parts of my life. I feel as though I am only part way through the journey, but that it’s a great journey to be on.
It was during the welcome circle of my third Cuddle Party that I realised I was there for one of the very reasons Stella established them in the first place. As we sat and shared briefly what had brought each of there, Stella’s recollection of a partner who had received very little physical touch or affection as a child (and who, therefore, had little to no desire for it as an adult) really resonated with me.
Before discovering the London Cuddle Party events I too had no skills to ask for, learn to receive, give or even enjoy cuddling (besides with the cats!). As a child, no one hugged me. No one allowed me to cuddle up to them in bed at night. No one comforted me in their arms when I was sad. And I was actively rejected if I sought out physical comfort from the adults in my life. Therefore, as an adult that type of loving, platonic, human touch was not only alien to me but also actually acutely uncomfortable at times. It led to lifetime of unsuccessful romantic relationships where I confused my craving for comforting, nurturing human contact as a need for purely sexual relationships. Sex was much less physically and emotionally uncomfortable for me than any loving or caring embrace. I had never been a ‘cuddly’ person.
So you might imagine how uncomfortable and daunting the prospect of a cuddle party was for me! But the universe had spoken. The very week my trauma therapist had suggested I ask my own mother for a hug, a Facebook post popped up on my timeline advertising a Cuddle Party. Filled with a heady mixture of excitement and sheer terror (and with a friend in tow for emotional support), I dipped my toe in the waters for the first time at an all female & non-binary cuddle party.
Stella has an instantly soothing and reassuring presence. Her calm and friendly demeanour is warm and welcoming and her good humour put everyone at ease as she talked through the ground rules for a safe and consensual cuddle party. Alas, that day my anxieties had me firmly in their grasp and so I spent the majority of the cuddle party sat at the edge of the room completely frozen in fear. It was all I could do to remember to breathe and will myself not to take flight. Again, Stella was brilliant and checked in with me to ask if I would like to receive any contact or if there was anything she could do to help. Feeling much too overwhelmed, I declined but opted to get myself a hot drink and just observe the other participants. At no point was I made to feel uncomfortable for not participating, in fact, it had been stressed during the welcome circle that no one was under any pressure or obligation to join in.
And I’ve never been more grateful for allowing myself to sit with that discomfort and overcome my fears… because the following two cuddle parties were so very different.
Despite not participating in any cuddling that first time, I felt so compelled to return and try again. Admittedly, I was a little hesitant because it was a mixed gender event this time. But I needn’t have been because the genders of participants are evenly balanced and everyone, in my experience, is very respectful.
From having my son I’d learned about the positive physical and mental health benefits of nurturing human contact (thanks to baby massage and attachment parenting!) and so I was determined to learn to allow myself to enjoy experiencing those benefits with other adults also. The knowledge that the London Cuddle Party was a completely safe and supportive environment to learn gave me the courage to go back.
Beyond a beautiful sense of comfort and contentment that I come away from the sessions with, I have also been gifted a new found set of life skills which I did not have before. Thanks to Stella’s cuddle parties, I am confident in saying no to contact that I am uncomfortable with. Without the guilt we are often socially conditioned, especially as women, to feel when rejecting physical advances from others. At the same time, I am also more confident in asking to receive the touch that I would enjoy (with the confidence to know that I can also stop the interaction at any time). Most importantly I am now in a place where I am able to openly welcome and experience pleasure from giving and receiving gentle, platonic touch.
Whilst I still haven’t had the courage to ask my mum for that hug (undoing a lifetime of conditioning takes more than three cuddle parties), I hope to continue to enjoy reaping the wonderful benefits of these amazing sessions for as long as they are running in London. And I am eternally grateful to Stella for bringing them here and changing this aspect of my life so much for the better.
I sincerely hope that if you are reading this and feeling as sceptical/ reluctant/ terrified as I was at the prospect of attending a Cuddle Party, you will consider allowing yourself the opportunity to attend a session to see for yourself just how wonderfully healing they can be.”