Three Surprising Ways to achieve Body Confidence

Three Surprising Ways to achieve Body Confidence

Three Surprising Ways to achieve Body Confidence

Do you love your body? According to George Mason University, a depressing 80 percent of women in the U.S. are dissatisfied with their appearance, and lack body confidence. Lack of body confidence can range from wanting to lose a few pounds to actual body dysmorphia. Body dysmorphia is a mental disorder where people constantly seek reassurance about their body, or undergo cosmetic surgeries, without ever being convinced or satisfied, and gaining body confidence. In my Somatic Sex Coaching practice I come across women who would actually very well fit into today’s media driven ideal body type, yet they themselves can’t see it at all. Men also tend to be much more concerned about their appearance, and may hit the gym daily to gain a more muscular and broader physique. It’s very sad to see how obsessed we are with our bodies, and this may be exploited by cosmetic surgeons, the anti-ageing lobby and the pharmaceutical industry which offer risky interventions, just to lose weight. The names of exercise classes also show the war-like relationship we have with our bodies, such as ‘boot camp’ or ‘fight the flab’, and many women embark on strenuous workouts and fad diets to punish themselves for their previous indulgence.

Body confidence and Health

While there is of course nothing wrong with looking to live a balanced and healthy life, fact is we all come in different shapes and sizes, and body confidence often depends on the degree in which we are able to love ourselves as we are. Pregnancy and ageing leave marks, and even cosmetic surgery can’t fully reverse them. It’s silly to compare ourselves to 13 year old models when 35 with 3 children. Our bodies and faces show the life we’ve been through, and while cosmetics and other means can help us look our best, we will never regain our looks of when we were 20, at 50 years old.

Let’s not wage war on Our Bodies

How can we make peace with the way we look, stop comparing ourselves, and simply learn to love ourselves? In terms of partners, I’m sure we all want partners who love us at any age, and find us attractive. Our primary relationship is with ourselves. How can we learn to love ourselves, unconditionally, and gain body confidence by improving our relationship with ourselves? One way is to stop the constant bombardment with media images, or at least unsubscribe from publications that make us feel bad about ourselves, as suggested in this article.

Here are three very effective ways to gain body confidence

Arrange a professional photoshoot. Why would you always look at professional (and possibly altered) photos of other women, and never treat yourself to beautiful photos of your own to boost body confidence? This is also a nice opportunity to buy a few flattering new outfits. Want to opt for a boudoir photoshoot? How about getting a new lingerie set that makes you look gorgeous and feel sexy?

When looking in the mirror we often see our flaws immediately. Unfortunately, we are biologically wired to see the negative first, and possibly never get round to the positive. When that happens, make it a habit to observe when you dwell on the negative, and gently redirect yourself to seeing beauty as well. You can also stand very close to a mirror, close your eyes for a moment, open them again, and look into one of your eyes. Focus for 30 seconds at least. The rest of your face may appear blurry. Close your eyes again, and find some gratefulness in your heart for everything you have lived through – after all, you are alive, and can still look into the mirror! Then, open your eyes, and focus on looking into your other eye. This experience can be really moving, and when stepping a little bit further away to look at yourself again, your perspective might well have changed into love, acceptance, and body confidence.

When busy with work, children and chores, we often neglect opportunities for pleasure. Here are a few ways to integrate physical pleasure into your day-to-day without taking more time. You get dressed, undressed or change clothes at least twice a day. Make this a sensual opportunity, of feeling the clothes caress your skin. Changing clothes can be an opportunity for self love. So can taking a shower or bath. Notice how you touch yourself, and make it more pleasurable, caressing yourself. When applying cream or lotion, focus on pleasure and self love. Anything you do for yourself, including eating, can be pleasurable and honouring yourself in new ways. Loving and honouring yourself is a beautiful way to enhance body confidence.

When in London, I offer sessions where you can show your body, deal with negative self perceptions and lack of body confidence, and learn skills to find a better and more pleasurable relationship with you own body. Welcome to Who you Are.

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