Date Night In? Touch doesn’t equal foreplay Part 2
Touch without the hidden “foreplay” agenda
“How about a massage?”
We’ve all said it… while secretly hoping it leads to sex.
In long-term relationships, touch often comes with an unspoken contract: if I rub your back, you owe me an orgasm. One partner offers a massage with fingers crossed. The other senses the agenda, says “I’m tired,” and both feel quietly disappointed (or resentful).
The result? Touch becomes predictable, transactional, and anything but sexy.
The truth is: touch doesn’t have to be foreplay.
When we remove the hidden agenda, something magical happens — we suddenly feel safe to say yes to touch for touch’s sake. A shoulder rub stays a shoulder rub. A naked cuddle can just be warm skin on warm skin. And paradoxically, desire often shows up on its own when it’s no longer being chased.
You can always talk about sex afterwards — openly, playfully, without pressure. No one-way street.
A playful couple’s touch practice for long winter nights (no foreplay required)
Try this on your next date night in:
- One partner lies on their side, top knee bent for stability.
- The other sits or kneels beside them.
- Place one hand on their waist or hip. Sync your breathing.
- Slowly rock their pelvis with the heel of your hand — gentle, rhythmic, sensual.
- Explore their back, shoulders, buttocks. Add pressure, speed, playfulness.
- Thread an arm under theirs and circle their shoulder while the other hand massages the moving shoulder blade.
- Use your whole body to rock them — get creative!
- The receiver starts pushing back, gradually taking over until roles deliciously reverse.
Stay tuned in. Speak up if something feels off. Laugh. Breathe.
This is connection, not obligation.
When the practice ends, you can stop… or let it flow into seduction and sex. The choice is yours — and that freedom is what keeps desire alive.
Touch for touch’s sake isn’t “settling.”
It’s often the fastest way back to real, spontaneous passion.
Ready for more? Book a private Zoom session with me and turn your date night into a playground of sensual skills (fully clothed or as steamy as you like).