What Actually Is an Orgasm?

As a somatic sex educator, I often meet clients—especially women—who aren’t quite sure if they’ve experienced an orgasm, particularly a non-genital orgasm. That uncertainty is more common than you might think, and it’s absolutely okay to have questions.

So let’s explore it—warmly, clearly, and without judgment.

Understanding Genital Orgasms

When I’m working with someone unsure about whether they’ve had a genital orgasm, I usually ask this: “Have you ever felt a sudden sense of release during genital self-stimulation?”

Even a subtle wave of release is a sign that a genital orgasm is happening. And from there, we can absolutely build on that experience together.

What Is a Non-Genital Orgasm?

A non-genital orgasm shows up a little differently. It often comes as a wave of sustained pleasure, sometimes with rhythmic contractions in areas like the abdomen. These experiences can last longer than genital orgasms and often involve minimal—or no—genital stimulation at all.

Here’s the incredible part: neurologically, the same brain areas light up during both types of orgasm. This was confirmed in a brain scan conducted while educator Barbara Carrellas experienced what she calls energy orgasms. (Watch her TEDx talk)

Let’s take a closer look at three powerful types of non-genital orgasm.

Energy Orgasms: The Whole-Body Experience

An energy orgasm is a full-body experience that doesn’t require genital touch. It often involves:

• Deep, rhythmic breathing
• Pelvic and spinal movement
• Gentle abdominal and upper-body touch

Try lying on your back with your knees up, feet flat on the floor. This position supports pelvic undulation. You can experiment with hovering your hands an inch or two over your body—this off-body touch can be surprisingly intense.

I’ve both facilitated and received energy orgasms many times, and each one is uniquely profound.

Heart Orgasms: Orgasm Through Love and Connection

Heart orgasms invite you to connect with intense feelings of love—love so strong, it becomes physically and emotionally orgasmic.

To try this type of non-genital orgasm, follow these steps:

1. Visualise someone or something that deeply opens your heart—your child, a pet, a spiritual figure, or your beloved.
2. Breathe into the center of your chest.
3. If you’re medically cleared, try breathing in and out through your mouth, slightly faster than usual.
4. Let your spine move naturally, and allow sound to emerge—sighs, laughter, even tears.

This practice can spark immense joy and tenderness. It’s beautiful, personal, and healing.

Tastebud Orgasms: Sensual Eating as Pleasure

Let’s talk about food—not just eating, but savoring food in a way that engages the senses and invites pleasure throughout the body. For some, it’s chocolate. For others, it might be fresh mango, aged cheese, or a rich espresso.

To explore a non-genital orgasm through food:

• Start by activating your mouth with gentle touch—caress your lips with the food before tasting it.
• Let your tongue meet the food slowly, outside your mouth.
• Take a tiny bite and let it move through your mouth with full attention to every texture and flavor.

This isn’t just mindful eating—it’s sensual aliveness.

The Power of Pleasure Beyond Genitals

Each of these non-genital orgasms—energy, heart, and tastebud—can guide us into deep relaxation and altered brainwave states. They are restorative, insightful, and joyful.

And they’re just a few of many possible paths to orgasmic experience.

Have You Experienced a Non-Genital Orgasm?

I’d genuinely love to hear about your experiences—whether you’re curious, unsure, or deeply familiar with these sensations. Your privacy is always respected, and I’ll only share your story with permission. Feel free to reach out with questions, too.

And just to be clear: there is nothing wrong with enjoying genital orgasms! They’re a beautiful part of our erotic lives.

Orgasm as a Way of Life

What if we stopped separating “sexual” moments from the rest of life—and instead embraced everyday orgasmic living?

Imagine this: You’ve just received terrible news, only to find out moments later it was a mistake—and everything’s actually okay. That overwhelming relief and gratitude? That’s an orgasmic feeling.

We don’t have to wait until the end of life to realize how precious each moment is. Let’s start now—while we have energy, community, and the ability to spread joy.

These practices can also deepen and amplify genital orgasms—because we’re living in connection with our full selves.

Curious to learn more about non-genital orgasms?

Let’s explore these experiences together. Contact me today or explore my coaching services to begin your journey into embodied, joyful living.