‘Nobody cares about women’s pleasure’

Exploring Female Pleasure and Reclaiming Desire: Insights from Good Luck to You, Leo GrandeEmma Thompson’s brilliant film Good Luck to You, Leo Grande isn’t just a delight to watch—it’s a quiet revolution. With warmth, humor, and unflinching honesty, it shines a light on female sexuality, aging, body image, and the rarely discussed truth: most women have never been taught how to truly experience pleasure.Thompson herself recently pointed out that science has almost entirely ignored female pleasure. She…and the evidence backs her up. The anatomical structure linked to the G-spot was only officially described in 2012. Female ejaculation is still dismissed by many doctors as “incontinence.” Centuries of medical research prioritized male anatomy, leaving women to figure out their own desire in the dark.In the film, Nancy—a widowed retired teacher—hires a sex worker (the charming Leo Grande) because she realizes she has never had an orgasm and no longer wants to die without knowing what pleasure feels like. Her journey is awkward, funny, tender, and profoundly relatable. It mirrors the stories I hear every week from clients: women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond who are finally ready to reclaim the pleasure that was never theirs to begin with.So many of us carry the same quiet “shoulds”:“I should feel more sexual.” “I should love my body by now.” “I should be having orgasms (or at least know what I like).”But pleasure isn’t a performance. It’s a return home.Your body is not broken. It’s waiting. Those thousands of nerve endings didn’t disappear just because life, motherhood, grief, or shame told you to ignore them. They’re still there—ready to light up the moment you turn your attention, your breath, and your curiosity back toward sensation.Good Luck to You, Leo Grande ends with Nancy standing naked in front of a mirror, looking at herself—really looking—for the first time, and smiling. “I haven’t felt this alive for ages,” she says.If that line stirs something in you, trust it. The desire to feel alive in your own skin is not frivolous. It’s sacred.You don’t have to suppress it anymore. And you don’t have to navigate the journey alone.Here’s to choosing aliveness—messy, joyful, unapologetic aliveness.(If this resonates and you’re ready to explore your own pleasure with kindness and support, my practice is a judgment-free space for exactly that. You deserve to come home to your body.)

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Exploring Female Pleasure and Reclaiming Desire: Insights from Good Luck to You, Leo Grande

Emma Thompson’s latest film, Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, is not just entertaining—it’s groundbreaking. With humor and authenticity, it dives into complex topics like female sexuality, aging, body image, and the often-overlooked subject of female pleasure and self-discovery. In a recent interview, Thompson highlighted a stark reality: female pleasure has been largely ignored by science. And she’s right.

The Science Gap: Why Women’s Pleasure Remains a Mystery

Did you know that the anatomical equivalent of the G-spot was only identified in 2012? Or that female ejaculation is still debated, often dismissed as incontinence rather than acknowledged as a natural function? The truth is, mainstream medicine has historically overlooked women’s sexual health, leaving many to navigate their own journeys of female pleasure and self-discovery.

Nancy, Thompson’s character in the film, embodies this journey beautifully. She seeks out new experiences, guided by curiosity and a desire for fulfillment. Her story mirrors the experiences of many women I work with as a Somatic Sex Coach—women who are reclaiming their pleasure, often for the first time.

Returning to Pleasure: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Many of my clients share a common theme: returning to intimacy after a long period of abstinence. They come to me seeking confidence, longing to explore a more fulfilling way to experience their sexuality. Often, they’ve read about pleasure but haven’t felt truly connected to their own sensations.

And yet, amidst this desire, I hear the pressures they place on themselves:

  • I should feel sexual.
  • I should love my body.
  • I should prioritize self-pleasure.

But female pleasure and self-discovery isn’t a switch we turn on and off. Our bodies, with their thousands of nerve endings, are always available to us. Sometimes, it’s simply about redirecting our attention—tuning into sensation, using breath, and allowing ourselves to explore without expectation.

Choosing Aliveness Over Suppression

Then there’s that undeniable moment—a deep knowing that there’s an experience we need to have, something we can no longer suppress. That’s when transformation happens. Good Luck to You, Leo Grande captures this beautifully. As Nancy steps into her full self, she comes alive in a way she hasn’t in years.

“I haven’t felt this alive for ages,” she says in the film. And isn’t that what so many of us seek? To release the energy spent on suppression and redirect it toward truly living?

If this resonates with you, know that your journey toward female pleasure and self-discovery is valid, and you don’t have to navigate it alone. Exploring your desires—free from judgment or expectation—is a powerful step toward embracing all of who you are.

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