Understanding the Change in Sexual Experience
I’ve encountered many clients who, after going sober, find themselves less satisfied with sex. This isn’t uncommon, whether you’re moving away from alcohol or harder drugs. In my practice, I’ve seen this concern across all genders.
“I’ve gone sober and haven’t enjoyed sex since.”
Cannabis and Its Role in Sexuality
The legal status of cannabis varies, impacting how people might use it for sexual enhancement. In places where it’s legal, it can offer relaxation and euphoria, but it’s not without risks; some experience negative effects like paranoia or mood swings.
- Benefits of Cannabis in Sex:
- Can promote relaxation and enhance sensation.
- Potential Downsides:
- Might lead to anxiety or unexpected mood changes.
Recovery from Substance Use and Sexual Intimacy
Getting clean from drugs or alcohol is a significant life change, influencing all aspects, including your sexual life. It’s tough, and not everyone struggles with addiction the same way, so judgment is unnecessary.
- What to Expect:
- Initially, sex might seem less vibrant, but this feeling is temporary.
- Over time, you might appreciate more emotional depth in your connections, leading to a more nuanced and satisfying sexual relationship.
Experiencing Sex Sober for the First Time
In cultures like the UK, alcohol often plays a role in sexual encounters, particularly among the young, to overcome shyness or perceived sexual inadequacies. It’s important to understand that sex without alcohol can be daunting yet deeply rewarding.
- Tips for Sober Sexual Experiences:
- Boundary Setting: Alcohol can blur lines; sobriety helps you maintain your personal boundaries.
- Consent and Communication: Learn to say “No” and recognise when you or your partner aren’t fully engaged.
Fully Engaging Your Senses in Sex
Alcohol often numbs our senses, potentially leading to sexual activities we might not choose otherwise. Being sober allows you to listen to your body’s signals and your partner’s cues, fostering a more authentic connection.
- Benefits of Sensory-Aware Sex:
- Enhanced enjoyment through genuine desire and mutual consent.
- More memorable experiences because you’re fully present.
Fun, Sober Sexual Exploration
Here are two playful activities to explore your sexuality without substances:
Solo Exercise:
- Setting: Find a private, comfortable space.
- Activity: Embrace spontaneity by acting like a playful dog, using cushions or furniture for movement. Reflect on your physical and emotional responses afterwards.
Partner Exercise:
- Setting: A relaxed, private environment with your partner. Set a timer, maybe 3 minutes.
- Activity: Together, mimic passionate love-making with exaggerated, playful movements, fully clothed. This can be a fun way to release tension and enhance intimacy without actual sex involved.
Your Path to Conscious Sexuality
Switching to sober sex might seem challenging, but it opens up a world where your senses, emotions, and heart are fully engaged. This journey isn’t just about sex; it’s about rediscovering intimacy in its purest form.
Welcome to a new chapter of conscious, connected experiences.