Should I See a Sex Therapist or a Sex Coach?
If you’re struggling with intimacy, sexual health, or relationship challenges, you might be wondering: should I see a sex therapist or a sex coach? It’s a great question—and one many people aren’t sure how to answer. While both professionals can help you navigate sexual concerns, their approaches are quite different.In this post, I’ll break down what sex therapists and sex coaches do, how they differ, and when one might be a better fit for your needs. By the end, you’ll have a clearer understanding of which path could help you move forward with confidence and clarity.
What Does a Sex Therapist Do?
Sex therapists—often referred to as psychosexual therapists—primarily use traditional talk therapy to explore sexual concerns. They may also incorporate some somatic (body-based) techniques, but there are strict boundaries around what they can do in sessions.For example, sex therapists cannot involve intimate touch or nudity during therapy. Instead, they might recommend somatic exercises as homework for you to try on your own. Despite these limitations, psychosexual therapists are highly skilled at addressing many sexual issues through conversation and guided exploration.If cost is a factor, it’s worth noting that your GP may be able to refer you to a psychosexual therapist through the NHS. This can be a more affordable option compared to private coaching.
What Does a Sex Coach Do?
Sex coaching takes a more hands-on approach to addressing sexual concerns. There are two main types of sex coaches:
- Talk-Based Sex Coaches: These professionals focus on conversations about sexual health and may include some somatic tools like mindfulness or breathing exercises.
- Body-Based Sex Coaches: Coaches like myself have additional training to incorporate body-based learning into sessions. This can include teaching and demonstrating intimate touch in a safe, consensual environment.
The key difference is that body-based sex coaching allows for in-session practice of techniques that can help you reconnect with your body and explore pleasure in real time. This approach is particularly beneficial for individuals or couples looking for experiential learning alongside guidance.
When Is Sex Coaching Better Than Therapy?
While both therapy and coaching can be effective, there are certain situations where body-based sex coaching may offer unique benefits:
Sexless Marriage
Imagine you’re part of a couple juggling demanding jobs and young children. Over time, intimacy has faded due to exhaustion and busy schedules. Both therapy and coaching might suggest sensate focus exercises to rebuild connection—but body-based coaching takes it further by allowing you to practice these techniques in session.This hands-on approach helps couples communicate about pleasure effectively while receiving immediate feedback. It transforms date nights from an obligation into an exciting opportunity for connection.
Never Had an Orgasm
If you’ve never experienced an orgasm—perhaps due to trauma or sexual shame—a body-based coach can guide you in reconnecting with your body’s pleasure at your own pace. Through somatic tools like relaxation techniques or one-way touch (if you choose), we can create a safe space for exploration without pressure.
Vaginismus
For conditions like vaginismus, traditional therapy might recommend dilators for home use. As a body-based coach, I take a more personalised approach by helping you understand your body’s arousal patterns and teaching techniques like G-spot stimulation to facilitate relaxation. Gloves or toys may also be recommended for home practice.
Body Image Issues
Many clients feel self-conscious about their bodies due to societal myths or shame around genital appearance. In coaching sessions, we can discuss and visually normalise your body to enhance self-acceptance and confidence.
Post-Birth or Post-Prostate Surgery
After childbirth or prostate surgery, your body’s needs may change significantly. Coaching sessions can help you explore new ways to experience pleasure—whether through scar reduction techniques for mothers or rediscovering male sexual identity post-surgery.
Why Choose Somatic Sex Coaching?
Somatic sex coaching offers unique benefits that go beyond traditional therapy by focusing on experiential learning and empowerment:
- Safe Space for Exploration: I provide a judgment-free environment where we can openly discuss your concerns and desires without fear or shame.
- Skill-Based Learning: You’ll gain practical techniques tailored to your needs while exploring intimacy in ways that feel authentic and empowering.
- Empowerment Over Dependency: My goal isn’t just to provide relief but to teach you how to manage your own pleasure journey confidently.
Whether you’re looking to reignite connection in your relationship or deepen your understanding of yourself, somatic sex coaching offers tools that empower lasting change.
A Final Thought
Choosing between a sex therapist and a sex coach depends on your unique needs and goals. Therapy may be the right choice if you’re looking for talk-based exploration of deeper emotional concerns. Coaching might be better if you’re ready for hands-on learning that focuses on practical skills and embodiment practices.
If this resonates with you—or if you’re curious about how somatic sex coaching could support your journey—let’s connect! Together we can explore how to create the intimacy and confidence you deserve.